profound solution to all of my problems

i'm 20 yrs old play safe dude who is dying to have some fun, and this thrive has been diverted to food. I do not blame myself nor anything that has brought me down to my size. I believe it's only natural to go for the second best. Many people blame themselves whenever they commit mistakes. some changes to passive into aggressive type of people, few of them just walks away and let go, and others makes a total non-sense of themselves like me but this is the end of it all.

Im developing something profound that even i does not totally understand. i'm testing my project to everyone. it does not project harm or show stress. it's like a verbal-non verbal drug which is given by action, reacts by respond and results to something that i don't know... i haven't totally tested it yet. but i have managed to gather some facts about it.

Anyway i notice my body have changed. im not fat anymore, i'm fat-macho now. but im losing lbs too, this christmas i was able to lose 3 lbs but that was before noche bueno,. (i know right my weight is now i think screwed again.) but the best thing i had this year is the idea that will changed me forever... i'm slowly becoming new. both physical and mental, i hope this is good though

for my friend...

this is for you, and this is what i'm trying to tell kanina, but i was trying to make you try to laugh again kasi these times are kind of rough, let me write things na lang, para mejo mas maiintindihan mo din, i know naman na you always wanted to read, so here read this i made this one for you.

play that thing muna pala hehe..

"kotse"

May mga maliliit na bagay na kinatutuwa ko tungkol sa iyo,
Mga bagay sila na kung minsan kinaiinisan ko din dahil gawa mo,
ibig ko ngayon sana ipaalam ang mga bagay na sana pala ay sinabi ko,
Nagkakamali din kasi ako, nadaanan mo pala ito sana pala nakinig ako sa'yo.
makinig ka sana kasi di ko na uulitin ang mga sinasabi ko.

Kung minsan napapasigaw ako sa harap mo,
di ko kayang itago ang inis at yamot dahil sa pagtatanong mo,
Pero nakakatawang isipin na madali lang pala ang gagawin ko,
sasagutin ko lang pala sila tulad ng ginawa mo noong bata pa ako.
nadidinig mo ba ha? makinig ka dahil para sayo ito.

nakakatuwang isipin na importante ka pala sa akin,
importanteng tulad ko para sa iyo ay lubos pa,
sana talaga ay maunawaan mo itong lahat ng aking dalangin,
dahil kung mauulet pa ito ay sobrang minsan pa.
susubukan kong dasalan ka araw araw ama...
di mo man ako makita dahil nakapikit na ang iyong mata,
di mo man ako maramdaman dahil wala ka na,
di mo man ako marinig dahil malayo ka na,
gusto ko lang sabihin at isigaw... mahal na mahal kita ama.


sorry ha, mejo kung ayaw mo nito buburahin ko agad...

new year random plans that must be done!

Lately i've been thinking about my wishes and plans, and i realized that i have been doing too much effort to please people, make them like my presence and appreciate what i can share to whatever idea i come up too. It wasn't long until i had a big project plan that i've randomly thought of to make my next year fun and enjoyable. This project is inspired by the series called "hi!, my name is Earl" which the "bida" has a list of his atonement project to the people he have hurt because he believe that karma is out to get him and a movie yes man starred by Jim carrey as carl and zooey deschannel. I know this sounds silly but you have to admit, good thoughts, conduct and deeds never hurts anyone, plus it's not "baduy" to do this amen?.

1.) save P10,000.00
2.) lose 40 freaking lbs.
3.) have a cool set of abs.
4.) cheer a lonely random person out from his/her depression.
5.) save an individual from an anticipated trouble.
6.) be heard from a radio station.
7.) host a party.
8.) play a song for an individual.
9.) learn how to sing.
10.) have a final grade of 90.
11.) learn how to master the arts of being a smooth PUA.
12.) smile to everyone for a whole day.
13.) hug people when they need it.
14.) drink with someone who needs company.
15.) get fucking drunk.
16.) learn how to drive a sedan car. (why sedan? that's because i always end up driving trucks and multicabs)
17.) buy something expensive for my family and a friend.
18.) make it through the year without pissing someone off, except stupid people.
19.) say the "L" word directly to someone i "L" the most.
20.) go to a kissbone concert.
21.) learn how to box.
22.) buy a freaking electric guitar.
23.) give a gift to someone.
24.) make someone very very happy.
25.) ask someone out for a date and give her a good time.
26.) accept the fact that love is found outside the school. (only applicable for myself)
27.) win something.

to be continued.. sheesh.. i'm assessing things first before i i write things here, for some reason i'm thinking of something more daring and cool.. hehehe..

RANDOM random

"i'm freaking human and rational, there is no need to teach me because i can learn from mistakes, and through that i enjoy life."

I was with riza yesterday, and i had quite a blast because i was hoping to put my mind off the org. it was an opportunity for me to talk with a person who can understand perfect randomness, we shared a lot of things that people often say "huh!?, anu yan?, that's weird!" and the infamous "cool! meron palang ganitong kanta?, ay bakla pala yung artist.." not to mention, "shit! where can i have one of those??". we are like transformers but in a form of super photocopied humans, the type who searches for potential cause of coolness and artistic beauty in the form of art, music, literature, and also the interesting pile of shit, "humans".

we are always looking for the best, not the most perfect but the present best, the ones that are new to the world, Riza puts the songs in the best mood possible, like an OST of sorts. I, in other hand put serious shorts in it, i'm a self proclaimed director and that's what i do.

So, I Demand for all those weirdos in the world to come in my little basement. where we can look at the world with our hidden sinister plans, we can make a fight club of our own, with me as a tentative tyler durden, so why hide our puny little power, if we can all share our power to be protected and demand change in this world!. Viva Project Mayhem! ach-tung! LOL

so... if you guys wanna be like me, (a sitcom filled soloist randomist), check yourselves if you already are:

• you never fail to ask your friends with a random question.
• always refer to youtube for answers.
• you hate people that present themselves as a RPG character (with effin' childish movements which is not cool.)
• has a habitual social suicide happenings.
• you have no secret to hide from the world that it sucks.
• you read minds really well that it sucks.
• you have infinite patience, like the ones at Gameshark codes, but you always forget to turn it off.
  

love drunked part 2

"...frustratedly waiting, should i do something?, or just leave it be?, sadness and loneliness beckoned..."

i prefer the readers to read this with the cowboy bebop song at my music player thingy... it will help you to understand my thought about what i'm trying to say..

i am frustrated, sick and tired about this game, i really wanna get my mind off this crap, i will officially deny LOVE as a blessing, because of this crap people begun to experience more of suffering to appreciate little efforts, people is starting believe that this will give them longevity, and happiness, love is a fairy tale that may be great for people, regardless of what they saw in front of that picture, in my part.. my distant point of view where i saw a bigger picture, people saw love in it's best, and some people saw it in it's worst and i am one those guys, and i want it to end.

whenever i feel something towards a woman, i end up loving the weirdest, the most hated or the most significant one, i do not love the actual beauty of a woman, i honestly say that i always look for the qualities and uniqueness first, because these things builds up the personality and greatness that i always admire, men looks for potential beauty to make it more beautiful, unlike the actual beauty that has already been done.

i guess... there is no one out there for me, i miss being happy without this stupid crap, i hate remembering the first time i felt this crap, and i hate the things that left it for me, so... i'll be leaving this stupid world without a company came from that bullshit, my world is like staying at a cafe' house drinking coffee and waiting for someone, but then i got pissed because she didn't showed up... so i leave the house, left with a cup filled with patience hope, and of course the crap (LOVE)