Deprivation test 001

I've been stopping myself from eating red meats since monday, i was planning to convert myself into a vegetarian but it is so hard to do because i can't put myself on its deep discipline since it has so many prohibitions, i have to stay at my safe high grounds from it, but i am determined to progress.

Not only that... i also have been stopping myself from a "Sexy time" ... ughhh.. yes, it's a pretty hard thing to do. at first i was like " aw shit, i can't do that anymore i have to refrain from it drastically", then i was like " 2:30am! okay!! just a couple hours left till it's sun rise and i'm gonna be able to do other stuff rather than thinking about Sex and stuff...... fudge!? @2:31AM?!!?!? THIS IS A SLOW DRAG!!!! COME ON! RUN FASTER TIME!", this shit has been going on for like 3 weeks now... and lemme tell you... THIS IS FCKUING HARD.

but then i just realize, after all that shitty endeavors that i've been taking.. i am kind of having a clearer mind, not that i can explain myself now easily now. instead i'm in a sense that i am able to think of things without negativity, and yes it allows me to step up further from the things i never thought that is not stopping me. i felt sexier because i saw myself inside my personal gym more frequently. this is something good. and yes also it allows me to do stuff for my good career.

i guess that feeling of needing something so bad is a good jump start. it's a conveyance! it directs you to put your fucked up stuff in their rightful place and your gonna be able to walk like a better man than before. this is not a promotional shit that you must read... this is just a plain personal experience.

when is it gonna stop? by the time i get in to a situation that i can't escape from that's the time it...... no not stop but resets... :) im gonna do this thing till i get a hang of it! i'm like a monk! hahahaha, guess that makes since i was called one before :D

Deprivation test 001 - day no meats - 5th day, le no sexy time - 16th (dang! it's been that long already)